At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize