I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
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