He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I will pee on everything he values.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
