The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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