Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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