It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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