Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
