theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
