I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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