Already got asked if we're dating
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
