was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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