Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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