take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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