Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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