For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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