I'm laying in your front yard are you home
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
