I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
