i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
