well I can't set my house on fire every night
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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