my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
