i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm really into asian looking animals
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
