Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
