I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize