I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize