I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize