this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
