He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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