Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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