when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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