dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
