If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Terrible idea I love it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
