Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
