Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
