careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize