That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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