Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize