how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
