gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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