Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
