Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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