walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
