I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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