the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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