You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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