it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
