I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
