You're completely useless in the revolution.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize