If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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