I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm like, not good at living.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
