you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
