Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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