Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
