it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
