i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
two words...techno handjob
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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