If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
