She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
