also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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