I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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