New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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