Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
