I think I died a long time ago.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
