i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
