Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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