she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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